Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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