i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
