Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize