Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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