im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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