just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
