I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Randomize
