Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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