We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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