Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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