I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
