you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
