Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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