Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
