I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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