quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
