Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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