2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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