you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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