Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
