At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
