the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
