this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize