I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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