he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
