think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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