he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
