The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
