Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
