Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
