It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
