singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
