Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
