This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
