Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize
