And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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