Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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