i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
