They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
