Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
