Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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