i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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