Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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