I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
