Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
