I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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