I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
