I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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