Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
