I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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