I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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