Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We are two peas in an std pod
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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