I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
