Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
