You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
