i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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