how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
