I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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