Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
