My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize