There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
