listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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