it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
